Review: Resident Evil: The Mercs 3D

Two bad things right away: this is a mini-game for $40, and you cannot delete your save data ever.

Let me repeat that: YOU CANNOT DELETE YOU SAVE DATA.

EVER.

EVER EVER EVER.

OK.

That is a genuine boner kill, for sure. No matter how it affects you — whether or not you really care — it’s just a really shitty thing for Capcom to do. Personally, I don’t give two farts about not being able to delete my own save file. I don’t have a need to, as “starting fresh” after already playing for hours really just amounts to doing the same damn thing over and over again (not the biggest fan of that). But it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t affect me personally. What Capcom is doing is implementing an awful new DRM method that totally fucks over anyone who buys a used copy, and also the nerd giving it to GameStop for a measly four bucks or whatever. This thing has no resell value whatsoever.

It is also a mini-game. Featured on Resident Evil 4 and 5 as a bonus throwaway, you basically shoot and kill and punch as many zombie assholes as possible while trying to survive within a time limit. However, it is a very fun mini-game.

There’s really little else to the cartridge — you just have 30 some “missions,” almost all of which involve the super serious voice over dude shouting at you “DEFEAT AS MANY ENEMIES AS YOU CAN!”

What really makes this game addictive, though, are the unlockables. There are a LOT. You have “medals,” which is Capcom’s way of saying “JEEEEZ Nintendo, why can’t you have an achievement system like everyone else?????” by supplying their own. Every new one earned feels great, and surprising as they usually come out of nowhere (a lot of standard ones — like killing so and so amount of enemies, etc).

There are characters to unlock, along with stages/missions and skills. Every character can take three skills with them into battle, and they range from being able to heal quicker to shooting a handgun with more precision. Obvious stuff, but both earning and using these skills is an absolute blast. On top of this, you can also level each skill up so they become more powerful.

You can play with another person in the same room (who also has their own overpriced copy) or someone online, and it works flawlessly. There are two boss battles and you basically NEED another player shooting the creature down with you to succeed.

This multiplayer functionality is wonderful and retains all of the fun we got from Resident Evil 5 (which was the best part of that game).

Graphically, it looks amazing and has more detail than say, RE4 for the GameCube. Seeing this in motion will definitely surprise you, and the idea/concept of carrying around a portable RE title sans story (which honestly isn’t as bad as you’re thinking) is a great one. The only hitch, described in every review out there, is that enemies a little far away look absolutely terrible, thanks to some odd flipbook-like animation.

The 3D is really well done — I’ve had mine all the way up the entire way through and loved it. It is nowhere near as intense as, say, Pilotwings Resort — but it doesn’t need to be. It looks great and adds some pizazz to an already pretty game.

With all of these pluses, it’s still just a mini-game for $40. One feels that it could have been a downloadable title on the PS360 for $15-20 at the most, albeit a great one.

+It’s really addictive and fun
+Chainsaw dude still hilariously terrifying
+It looks pretty
+Includes a demo for RE: Revelations, which gives the player a good feel of how awesome that game will be

-It’s overpriced, should be $30 at the most
-You can’t delete your save data, so you should probably not buy this used
-Gets a little old after awhile
-Enemies far away look terrible

***/*****

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