Quick Review: Ridge Racer 3D

Ridge Racer 3D is Ridge Racer.

That’s the review! COME BACK ANYTIME MUAH

Actually alright I’ll keep elaborating, briefly — sorta — a little —

Ridge Racer 3D is fun, a little charming (although THAT feeling wears off quickly!!), very standard, and unfortunately boring. It’s the type of game that I’m having fun playing, and it lasts for a good 20 minutes or so, but when I take it out of my 3DS I don’t touch it in two weeks or more (or ever, or infinity).

Don’t get me wrong, I like me some Ridge Racer. For them thar idiots out there, it is a racing series known for flashy, dumb-as-them-thar rocks arcade style gameplay. It is fast, it is furious, it is a little stupid. The music is always obnoxiously T-E-C-H-N-O, even if that style of music is so dated it’s not funny, the controls are always really simple (GAS/BRAKE/CHANGE VIEW), the tracks are always kinda cliched romps (aww, romps) through mountains and shit, and there ya go.

Graphically, it kinda sucks, but the 3D is pretty nice. It’s not as nice as Kotaku kept saying it was, but for what it is hey, pretty nice. There are a good amount of tracks, the difficulty after a brief dull hour gets just right, etc etc.

It’s just that, who cares? I mean, I do a little, mostly because of the nostalgia I have for the first one on the PSX (where is that disc? It’s gotta be around here somewhere). And this one is a lot better than that game… but it’s still the same damn game we’ve been playing since 1995. 3D or not, you will be racing to obnoxious techno and you will probably get bored after awhile.

Every once in a GREAT GREAT while I have an odd urge to pull the game out and play a few minutes, but it subsides when I realize there’s little to really do.

This sounds more like a complaint against the racing genre than this game itself, but aside from one way, way too lengthy single player mode, there’s really nothing else. Multiplayer stinks, because every single person has to have a copy of the game — and yeah, there’s no online matches either.

I’m not one to whine about graphics, but the PSP did this in 2005 (and it was glorious, of course), a nice full 6 years ago and I’m pretty sure this 3DS doo hickey is a little more substantial power wise.

Do not buy this for 40 bucks. Just don’t. Seriously. Wait til it drops to half that price, or less, or less, or less. It’s fun, it’s there whenever you must have it, but wait. Please. DON’T BUY THIS YET. STEAL IT FROM A FAMILY MEMBER MAYBE OR YOUR NERDY FRIEND. NOT FROM A STORE THOUGH BECAUSE THAT IS ILLEGAL.

Love,
Gaming Grandpa

**/*****

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